


When I Kissed the Teacher

by acedott



Series: Vanessa Gottlieb Appreciation [5]
Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Kaiju, Background Newt/Hermann, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Karla is Black and Adopted, Slow Burn, idk how german schools work im sorry if some details are wrong, sibling dynamics, this started out as fluff then it became a vehicle to work through my self loathing haha whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:53:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25983166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acedott/pseuds/acedott
Summary: Karla Gottlieb was not good at maths. Numbers just didn’t make sense to her; they were too abstract, too intangible. She could do enough arithmetic to make it through her day-to-day life, and that was fine by her.
Relationships: Karla Gottlieb/Vanessa Gottlieb, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb
Series: Vanessa Gottlieb Appreciation [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1774612
Comments: 5
Kudos: 10





	When I Kissed the Teacher

**Author's Note:**

> This is inspired by hermannsthumb's fic [ here! ](https://hermannsthumb.tumblr.com/post/624896492350652416/newt-isnt-sleazy-and-is-also-too-busy-wrestling)

Karla Gottlieb was not good at maths. Numbers just didn’t make sense to her; they were too abstract, too intangible. She could do enough arithmetic to make it through her day-to-day life, and that was fine by her. 

Less fine, however, was her university’s insistence that she complete at least one advanced level mathematics course, despite the fact that she was majoring in creative writing.

“I’m a novelist,” she reminded her academic advisor every time he brought up her unfulfilled requirement. “I don’t need to learn abstract maths.”

She put it off to her last semester of her senior year, hoping they would come to their senses. Alas, they did not. Adding to her frustration, her brother Hermann, who _lived_ for maths, chose that same semester to transfer from Technische Universität to MIT.

“You’re abandoning me, your legal flesh and blood, for an _American_. Bad enough that we weren’t even at the same university before but now we won’t even be on the same continent! I have never been so betrayed in my life.”

Hermann gave her a withering glare through his webcam. “I’m hardly throwing you to the wolves, Karla. I am available to help you via telephone, Skype, _and_ text message. Not to mention you do have access to the school’s student tutoring center.”

She gasped theatrically. “You want me to go to a stranger? Please, Brutus, the knife has already pierced my back, don’t twist it further.”

He rolled his eyes. “Perhaps you can use this anguish in your novel. I do have to go now. My class begins in less than an hour and I have to go to the opposite side of campus.” 

He was true to his word in trying to help, but there was only so much help he could give with a 6 hour time difference and shitty dorm room wifi. Eventually, Karla resigned herself to seeking help from the student tutors. Armed with her textbook and detailed class notes, she arrived for her tutoring session prepared to be condescended to like every time she’d been tutored by someone who wasn’t her brother.

She was not prepared for the most beautiful woman she’d ever seen to greet her with a dazzling smile and just a hint of an American accent.

“Hey! Are you my three o’clock?”

Karla blinked. _Say something, anything_. “Yes, it’s three o’clock.” She mentally kicked herself.

Her tutor just laughed kindly. “It sure is! I’m Vanessa. You’re Karla, I’m assuming?” When Karla nodded, Vanessa motioned for her to follow. “Step on into my office and we’ll get this party started!” (“Office” turned out to be rather generous for what was essentially a gray cubicle.)

Vanessa pulled out a clipboard once they sat down. “Normally we would get right to it, but our computers are down and I have some paperwork from my last session that I didn’t finish. Do you mind if I take care of that real quick?”

Karla just nodded again. She really didn’t trust herself to form coherent sentences around her.

Vanessa smiled that sunny smile again and turned her attention to her paperwork. Karla took the opportunity to stealthily study her.

She really was gorgeous. Her brown skin was radiant even under the sickly fluorescent lights. Her short hair framed her face in a cloud of undefined curls. Every part of her - hair, skin, eyes - was its own distinct shade of brown and Karla wanted to write sonnets about each subtle hue. She was mesmerized by the slight movements of her full lips as she silently read whatever she was writing down, the easy focus of her eyes as she scanned the pages. Karla watched her hands move quickly over her clipboard and wondered what those fingers would feel like running through her own tight curls, maybe helping shave the spots in her kitchen that she could never seem to line up the way she wanted.

After a few minutes of writing (and staring, on Karla’s end), Vanessa put the clipboard aside and turned her focus to Karla. “Okay, now you’ve got my full attention! What brings you in here today?”

Belatedly, Karla realized she should've used that time to rally her brain to remember how to speak rather than staring and yearning. “Er...I need help. With maths.”

Vanessa nodded patiently. “I figured as much. I know it seems really overwhelming now, but I promise I’ll do everything I can to help you understand whatever you’re learning. You might even enjoy it!”

The absurdity of that idea brought Karla’s brain back online. “Doubtful,” she scoffed.

Vanessa smiled mischievously. “I love a challenge.” She reached for Karla’s textbook. “Oof, calculus. I’m not trying to judge, but why the hell are you taking calculus if you struggle with math?”

“I put it off for too long and this was the only maths class with open slots left,” Karla admitted wryly.

“That sucks. The same thing happened with my literature requirement. I waited too long and got stuck in a poetry appreciation class.” She wrinkled her nose in a way that Karla would find adorable if she weren’t so appalled by the sentiment. 

“You don’t like poetry?”

Vanessa shrugged. “Eh. Half the time I don’t understand what’s going on until the last line, if that, so I’m just confused the whole time.”

“Isn’t that exactly like life?” Karla countered. “We cannot understand it except in retrospect.”

Vanessa raised her eyebrows thoughtfully. “Huh. I never thought of it like that. Are you a writer?”

“Primarily novels, but I do also write poetry.”

“I know lots of writers hate math. It’s kind of the opposite of what you were saying about poetry. You have to understand where you are when you start instead of finding it along the way.”

Karla nodded emphatically. “Exactly! And I rarely do.”

Vanessa smiled and rested her chin in her hands. That smile was going to be the death of Karla, but what a wonderful way to go. “Look at us, learning and making connections already!”

Karla felt her face warm and she looked down at her textbook. She couldn’t suppress the small smile that grew on her face or the stuttering of her heartbeat.

“Alright, lay it on me. How far have you guys gotten?”

By the end of their session, Karla did actually understand derivatives a little bit. She also understood that these meetings would be the high point of her weeks.

“Would it be better to study on my own to impress her in our meetings, or should I save studying for then to make our sessions longer?”

“It’s five a.m. here,” Hermann mumbled sleepily into the phone.

“I’m sorry. Good morning, brother dearest, how did you sleep? Would it be better to study on my own to impress her in our meetings, or should I save studying for then to make our sessions longer?”

“What meetings? With whom?”

“With my student tutor, Vanessa.”

“Ah, so the tutoring center _is_ satisfactory, then?” She could hear his smugness even through his yawn.

“Yes, yes, your betrayal wasn’t fatal. Now I have a different crisis, and since you caused it indirectly, you are obligated to help me. What do I do?”

“First of all, you oughtn’t base important academic decisions around some girl. And don’t make that face at me, I am not being a hypocrite. I may not be able to see you, but I can feel your expression even through the phone and the ocean between us.” 

She was indeed making that face. She continued making it anyway, just to spite him.

“Second of all, if you feel that strongly about her already, simply ask her on a date.”

“And how long were you and Newton corresponding before you ‘simply asked him on a date?’”

Hermann sighed. “True. Mother and Father did not raise us to be bold. Still, you can choose to follow your heart despite what they taught us.”

“Is that what you did?”

“Truthfully, Newton met me more than halfway in terms of boldness,” he admitted heavily. “Had it been left up to me, we may never have moved beyond corresponding.”

Karla swallowed around the lump in her throat. “I suppose I can forgive your betrayal, if he was able to do that for you. I’m sorry for waking you over this, _Brüderchen."_

“You’ve helped me with my own midnight crises, I suppose I owe you at least one. Good night, Karla. I love you.”

“I love you too.” She hung up the phone, feeling both heavier and lighter for their conversation. When she finally drifted off, her dreams were filled with deep brown eyes and soft hands.

Karls did take her brother’s academic advice and studied outside of her meetings with Vanessa. Her grades did improve slightly, but her confidence did not.

“I feel as if I’m just guessing,” she complained. Vanessa had praised her for receiving her highest marks yet on an exam, but the praise did not feel earned. “I didn’t _know_ to use this formula here or that process there, I merely chose them at random.”

“I don’t think you’re giving yourself enough credit.” Vanessa moved her chair so they were sitting side by side. Their knees were mere milimeters from touching and Karla was hyper aware of each but of space between them. “Walk me through your thought process on this problem here. You got a similar one wrong last time, but here it’s right.”

As Karla recounted her reasoning, she realized she had actually understood the problem at least a bit.

“See?” Vanessa crowed, placing her hand on Karla’s thigh. “You’re getting some of this at least subconsciously. You’re recognizing patterns! Next step is being able to recognize them consciously. By the time finals roll around, you’ll be solving equations like a pro!”

Karla couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe. Her skin burned under Vanessa’s hand, even with a layer of denim in between. It was heaven and it was hell; she didn’t know whether to seek more or push her away.

The choice was made for her when Vanessa’s phone buzzed. “Hold on, I should take this.” She stepped outside the cubicle, taking her hand with her, and Karla felt equally relieved and bereft. She rubbed a hand over where the contact had been, attempting to return to equilibrium.

When Vanessa returned some minutes later, her former cheer was gone. “Sorry about that. So, where were we?” Her tone was bright but it was forced.

Karla took a breath and spoke her mind. “Is everything alright? I don’t want to pry, but you seem...upset.”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. That was my ex.”

“Oh,” Karla replied eloquently.

Vanessa continued without prompting. “We broke up at the beginning of the school year. I’m over her, we can hang out in a group together without making it weird, it’s all very mature. I don’t even know why I took the call right now. I guess I’m just still used to asking ‘how high?’ whenever she says ‘jump,’ you know? Anyway, she was calling to say she changed her mind and that she wants me back.”

“Oh?” Karla truly didn’t think she was capable of saying more at the moment.

“But like, I don’t think she actually does. Honestly, I think I’m just stable and familiar, and that’s all the appeal is right now.” She paused to consider. “That, and my strap game is immaculate.”

Karla choked on her tea. Seemingly oblivious, Vanessa continued on. “I just feel like I deserve to be _wanted_. Not because I’m convenient or for nostalgia’s sake, but for who I am, you know?”

Karla couldn’t even conceive of anyone not wanting Vanessa wholly and completely. The idea made less sense to her than anything they had ever gone over in class. “If you don’t mind my asking, why did things end in the first place?”

Vanessa slouched back in her chair and let out a long puff of air. “Is it too much of a cliche to say we wanted different things? There was a bunch of other little stuff, but that’s what it really boiled down to. The crazy thing is, I would’ve taken her back if she'd asked me a few months ago. But the more time we spend not together, the more I realize I deserve better.”

“How so?”

“It just felt like she was always critical of me. I know she was trying to help, in her own way, but it was like I was never good enough. It wasn’t abusive or anything like that, but she hurt my feelings a lot of the time. I wish there was a less fourth grade way to say that, but it’s all I’ve got.”

Karla furrowed her brow. “Fourth grade?”

“Fourth grade in America is when you’re like, nine or ten. I don’t know what the German equivalent would be. Is it ‘forms’ or something weird like that?” Vanessa shook her head as if to clear her thoughts. “Whatever. My point is, it feels like a childish way of explaining it, but I don’t have anything better.”

Karla hesitated. “Sometimes children can explain things more clearly than adults.”

Vanessa chuckled. “True. I’m training to be a teacher, I should know that by now. I’ll let you get going. We went over our time today as it is. But thank you for listening, Karla. You’re really sweet.” She smiled, small but genuine. Karla walked on air all the way back to her dorm room.

“You’re both overthinking this,” Newt said later during the weekly sibling call. His combination of a Berliner dialect and heavy American accent made him almost unintelligible to Karla. “She called you sweet _and_ told you she didn’t want to get back with her ex in the same conversation. You should go for it!” He turned to Hermann and pointed a finger at him accusingly. “And _you’re_ not helping! Even if she does say no, which I seriously doubt is gonna happen, it won’t ‘jeopardize Karla’s academic career.’” He said the last part in a terrible impression of Hermann’s accent. “Worst case scenario, it would be slightly awkward for their last few sessions, we’ll all eat ice cream on a call and commiserate, Karla will graduate, go on to write the most kickass sci-fi books ever. Don’t be mad, but I bullied Hermann into letting me read the draft you sent him and holy _shit,_ it's amazing! Vanessa will read your bestselling novels that talk about love so beautifully you made _Hermann_ cry and have aliens so awesome I'm getting tattoos of them, and realize she seriously missed out.”

“But you haven’t _seen_ her, Newt!” Karla insisted, brushing past the compliments of her writing. “You haven’t met her, or me properly, for that matter. If you had, you’d know exactly how far above my league she is.”

Hermann’s face fell in pity. “Oh, Karla…”

She held up a hand to stop him. “ _Nein, bitte._ I appreciate the effort, _Brüderchen,_ truly, but be realistic. Looks aside, she’s dynamic, and witty, and intelligent. She reshapes every situation until it is exactly how she wants it to be. I, on the other hand, am plagued by my anxiety and indecision at every turn, not to mention my complete lack of social skills.” She shook her head. “She deserves to be with someone as incredible as she is. I will be her friend, if she will have me, and that will have to be enough.”

Newt shook his head emphatically. “Look, I’ve been where you are, and I get it. But you deserve more than whatever crumbs someone will throw at you. You deserve someone who will appreciate you for how awesome _you_ are.”

An alarm on her phone saved her from having to answer. “I have to go. Final exams are next week and I’m not nearly ready.”

“You’re so fucking ready!” Vanessa exclaimed as she looked over Karla’s practice test. She slapped the test down on the table for emphasis. “That was the hardest practice test I’ve ever made and you _nailed_ it! Look at this beautiful 87 percent you got! And that’s even before you add in my super hard bonus extra credit questions.”

Karla rolled her eyes but couldn’t tamp down her smile. “You asked ‘ _Who’s the greatest math tutor of all time?'_ I don’t quite think that will be on my exam.”

“But if it is, you know the answer!” Vanessa playfully tapped where Karla had written _Vanessa Haile_ and drawn a small smiley face. “I should give you extra bonus points for this cute ass smiley face, because you’re too adorable for words, but you didn’t even need them. You’ve got this, Karla, for real.”

“Anything I’ve learned is because of you, Vanessa. You’re a great teacher. If you can teach _me_ calculus, I have no doubt that you can teach math to anybody.” The words slipped past Karla’s carefully built walls unbidden.

Vanessa brightened. “Thank you! That means a lot. I really want to teach kids,” she confessed. “But it’s not really about the math. Like, it is, because math is a fun puzzle for me, but it’s also more than that. Yeah, sure, you’re probably never gonna need to calculate exponential equations or whatever in real life. But the logic behind geometry proofs, for example, has so many real-world applications! It’s all about taking given facts and using them to explain what’s in front of you. So it’s super useful in teaching historical cause and effect, or walking through thought processes, or…” She cut herself off with an embarrassed smile. “Sorry. I’m rambling, aren’t I?”

The full focus of her gaze was on Karla. Her hair was done up tightly in Bantu knots that left her face open and clear. Where Karla kept her expression constantly guarded, Vanessa let her emotions run freely across her face, letting the world see how she felt as clear as day. Karla was as envious of her easy confidence as she was attracted to it.

But now...Now she was looking at her so softly, so earnestly, like she was a revelation. Karla wanted nothing more than to lean across the table and kiss her.

But, being a Gottlieb, she did the opposite. “No, it’s fine. But I ought to be going. I’m sure you have other students after me, I shouldn’t monopolize your time.”

It must have been her imagination, but she could’ve sworn Vanessa looked disappointed. “Right. Sure. Well, we still have a session scheduled for next week, so come by and let me know how your final went.”

Karla forced a smile as she gathered up her things. “Of course. I’ll see you next week.”

When she sat for her final exam, all she could think about was Vanessa. Thinking about her to the point of distraction was nothing new, it had in fact become her default state ever since their first meeting. But normally her anxiety over potentially doing poorly on a test would override these thoughts whenever she had an exam. Now, however, she was so distracted that she wrote _Karla Haile_ on her paper and didn’t realize until she had been staring at it for twenty minutes. She found herself wondering if there was a precise equation for the curve of Vanessa’s lips, the slope of her shoulder, the angle of an eyebrow raised whenever she was confused. She had to write a haiku about Vanessa’s elegant hands on the provided piece of scratch paper just to bring her attention even remotely back to the exam. It wandered again within minutes, this time to the way her head would fall back whenever Karla made her laugh. Her eyes would close, her nose would scrunch up, and…

Karla grabbed at her hair in frustration, soothed somewhat by the familiar texture. She took a deep breath, carefully extricated her fingers to avoid messing up the style, and tried a different approach. Rather than fighting her thoughts, she imagined Vanessa reading the questions aloud to her. _Find the cosine of x if y=..._

Her fingers flew across the page. She felt a clarity she only felt when writing, except now she was connecting functions rather than plot points. When she got stuck, she imagined Vanessa encouraging her. _I know you can do this,_ imaginary Vanessa said. _We did a similar one last week, remember?_ Karla was understanding theorems and formulas for the first time as she applied them, letting the knowledge wash over her as she wrote her answers and moved on to the next. She finished with enough time to look back over her work, which hadn’t happened to her in a math class since her early days in school.

She handed in her test triumphantly and waltzed out the door, where she promptly collided with Vanessa.

“Oh shit!” Vanessa was holding two lidded cups of tea and only just managed to avoid spilling them through some careful flailing and footwork. “Crisis averted! So, how’d it go?”

“Are you meeting somebody?”

Vanessa’s cheeks pinkened a bit. Karla had never seen her blush before, hadn’t thought someone as confident as her was capable of it. “Yeah, you. I always want to crash after a big test, but I know you’ve got another class after, so tada! I went to the cafe you like and had them give me the most caffeinated tea they had.”

Karla’s heart began to beat backwards. “You remember the cafe I like?”

“I mean, you have a cup of tea from there every time we have a tutoring session, so I figured they were your favorite.”

Still riding the high of a math test gone well for once, Karla gave her doubts no time to manifest and simply acted. She brought her hands to cup Vanessa’s face and kissed her.

When she remained frozen, Karla pulled back to find her wide-eyed. “I’m so sorry! I-”

“Fucking _finally_ ," Vanessa breathed and leaned back in. 

It was a bit awkward, since Vanessa was still holding both cups of tea. Even so, it was like coming home. Karla kept her hands on Vanessa’s face to anchor her, thumbs lightly caressing her cheeks, the skin there as soft as she’d always imagined it would be. Their lips moved gently in tandem, pressing softly against each other. Karla felt the beginnings of a story swirling in her chest as Vanessa sighed against her lips.

They had to part for air eventually. Loathe to break contact even that much, Karla rested their foreheads together.

“I’ve been wanting to do that since the day we met,” Vanessa confessed softly in the small space between them. 

“What stopped you?” Karla murmured, smiling. A distant part of her regretted that they hadn’t done this immediately, but it was drowned out by the rest of her that was elated this was happening at all.

“I didn’t want to scare you off. But you were taking forever, so I was coming over to ask you out.”

Karla took a small step back. “Is this a date?”

“It could be, if you wanted it to.”

“No. I mean, yes, I do, but you deserve a better first date. Something more than tea in between my classes.” She looked down at her feet to hide the insecurity she was sure was broadcast clearly on her face. “I’m not - _it’s_ not special enough.”

“Karla.” Vanessa set down the cups of tea on a bench nearby to take her hands, and looked her seriously in the eyes. “That’s a really sweet thought, but I don’t need to be wined and dined. All I want is to spend time with _you_ , specifically. That’s what I’ve wanted this whole time. It’s why I made sure to never schedule any tutoring sessions after yours, so we would be able to spend as much time together as possible.”

“You did?” Karla looked up in surprise.

Vanessa nodded. “Yes! I think you’re beautiful, and kind, and you see the world in such a fascinating way. Ever since you explained how you see similarities between poetry and life, I’ve wanted to know how you feel about everything. You could tell me your feelings on a _phonebook_ and I would be riveted. You could give a lecture on the history of paper and I would be in the front row on the edge of my seat.”

“Paper does have a fascinating history-” Karla began, but stopped when she saw the smile grow on Vanessa’s face. She let out a deep breath, trying to expel her fears with it. “Actually, would you like to talk more over tea? There’s a courtyard behind the literature building that no one ever uses. It’s quite small, but it’s a bit nicer than this bench in the middle of the hallway.”

Vanessa handed her one of the cups of tea and laced their free hands together. “I’d love to.”


End file.
